Why you should never sleep with a virgin

It's simple. They don't know what the hell they are doing.

You have horrible sex for five minutes, end up covered in blood, and are left with two choices. One, you can go to bed with a stomach ache, a sore nut bag and wake up with dry blood covering your manhood. Two, you can go to the bathroom, wipe off your shaft with a wet rag and then punch your clown like a horny fifteen year old boy. (I chose number two) Then right as you are content and about to fall asleep the virgin kisses your cheek and whispers into your ear, "I love you."

Shit the bed.

Take it from me, unless you are a virgin or think you might enjoy the above scenario, steer clear of the pure and innocent.

Have a funny virgin story? Tell it here.